Sunday, June 17, 2012

Welcome, an Intro to Me, DD!

I'm going to blog, hopefully frequently, about my journey losing weight and changing my eating habits for the rest of my life.
A bit about me:  
I will go by DD, a nickname my grandpa gave me after my favorite lesson horse as a child.
I'm a late 20s female who is (as of Wednesday June 13, 2012) over 40lbs overweight. It all started when my mother passed away due to metastasized breast cancer after a 2 year battle and a mastectomy, chemo and radiation.  The stress from her death and the prior to death beginning of my working life, at 17 at Pizza Hut, helped me along the very easy road of mourning, weight gain, self destruction, self loathing, fear, anxiety, and low discipline.  I was raised a vegetarian with the occasional meat snuck in when my mother was not watching at various family functions. At 15 I was given the choice to eat meat and I leapt for the chance.  At the time I began working at Pizza Hut I was also able to drive and thus, eat fast food, also often eating fries and such from the school cafeteria.  I chose this as all through elementary school and junior high I was mocked for my lunches, being "different" and oftentimes odorous (thanks mom!) however they were very healthy.

After my mother's passing, not much wholesome cooking was done at home.  I often ate TV dinners, Sidekicks, pasta with prepared tomato sauces, McDonalds, pizza, etc. I started gaining weight quickly, though I tried not to notice. I wholly believe one should love themselves at any point in their lives, but I turned a blind eye mostly to my weight problems. Depression was a companion, though I did not realize this then.  Being depressed created a need to fill the void; the void was filled with my then boyfriend, my pets and food.  In 2005-2006 I topped close to 180lbs for my 5'2 3/4" whitegirl (but bootylicious) frame.  My boyfriend broke up with me, after a 4 year relationship. Understandably, he wanted a release from this depressing overweight bitch I had let myself sink to, he had grown to need something else. We had grown apart.  And he is one of the top reasons I survived and changed my life, if I could I would be thanking him for allowing me to face my fears and faults.  I sunk to a deep depression, realizing that for the first time in my life I was TRULY alone, for I had started my relationship with that boyfriend just after my mother passed. But out of those ashes of the burned out relationship I rose, after some time, with some of the depression and anxiety causing a 15lb weight loss.  That was wonderful, but it stopped there.

Now, 10 years after my mother's passing and in preparation to shave my head down to the skin in remembrance of her 10year anniversary in October I really need to lose the 40lbs!  After attempting to eat SUPER healthy - cut out fast food, only cooked at home, - exercising, went to bootcamp and then the attempt with the HCG drops (SUCH A SCAM! works but DOESN'T), I went to see my doctor - bloodtests came back clear! - she prescribed me the Dukan Diet. I went right after that appointment and bought his book.  I am now into day 5 of the Attack Phase and have lost 3.5lbs so far.

So that is about me, I will post again about my first 5-6 days on the Attack Diet, and Tuesday I will have veggies! YAY! So stay tuned, let's do this journey together.

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